Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
