You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
