i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
