On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
