theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
