also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Drunk is not a location!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
