Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
