Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
