All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
