Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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