Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
