Moan for me like Helen Keller
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
