do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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