I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
