Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
