Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
