shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
