Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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