I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
