Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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