and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
