I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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