so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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