Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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