I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
