she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
