I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
