Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
