whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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