It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
