Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
