absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
