she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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