I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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