This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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