"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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