We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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