just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
