come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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