best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
