Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
