he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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