Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
