I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
