No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I will pee on everything he values.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
