There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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