The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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