I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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