somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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