I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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