The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
