***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
