Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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